No. I couldn’t. Damned if I did and damned if I didn’t, b-because I know I was hurt bad enough where I couldn’t reasonably expect to be on my two feet before... before whatever happens at the end of all this. With the way I did it, there was a chance.

It. Wasn’t easy. I didn’t - [ He looks around for Beckett, or anyone else who could be listening. ] I didn’t WANT to die, not really. It doesn’t stop being scary no matter how many times this hellhole puts you through it.

I didn’t want to hurt you either. Nobody won.