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[jumpthegun]

You've reached Dr. John Watson. Please leave a message.

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[howdull]

It wasn't just a death price, John, that lasts for a week or two at the maximum. This lasted years, both at home and here.

[Although he logically knows that this was likely one of Norfinbury's peculiarities and he'd just had the misfortune to be under a death price during it, years trapped behind Moriarty's eyes and witnessing the decline in his own mind is almost impossible to shake off.]

You need to find Mycroft and Mary, the three of you can take care of one another well enough, and ignore anything that I might say in the future.

[jumpthegun]

Mary didn't remember who she was for years, Sherlock. That's just... it was the effect. It felt like years here and those dreams. I dreamed I don't make it in time. Culverton, he...

[John just lets that hang. Sherlock can connect the dots for himself.]

I need to find you. If you really think Moriarty might get control of you again, we need to be able to stop him.

[howdull]

[He wants to tell John in return what he saw, but it's still too raw and too frightening. Maybe he's more of a coward than he thought he was, a disappointing revelation. As ever, stress and fear make him crueller and sharper than he would be normally.]

How? You had no idea it was Moriarty who spoke to you before, you clearly can't tell the difference between us, so how would you know it was him to help stop him? I can't risk that, John.

[jumpthegun]

[John is silent for a moment before he comes up with an answer.]

I wasn't expecting him to pretend to be you and have all of your memories. I know he can do that now. I'll be ready. And I'm not risking you spending the rest of your time here alone, Sherlock. You die every time I leave.

[Nearly every time, it seems like.]

[howdull]

You dismissed that theory when I put it forward.

[Not about Sherlock getting hurt, but about John being hurt whenever he abandoned them for a patient who would inevitably turn out to injure him.]

I have asked Mycroft to find you and accompany you.

[jumpthegun]

Mycroft's insane, and I'll not be going anywhere near him unless you're about.

[Just laying that out there.]

[howdull]

He's not insane, he just hasn't learned how human beings compute morality yet.

[That might be a joke, if his voice weren't so tense.]

This isn't up for debate, John. I'm hanging up, I won't risk any of you at the hands of Moriarty.

[jumpthegun]

Hang up if you'd like. The only people I'm looking for are you and Mary. Unless you'll be there with Mycroft.

[howdull]

[Desperate times call for desperate measures.]

...please, John.

[jumpthegun]

[John glares down at the tablet, steeling himself. The please tugs at his heartstrings and several years ago, it might have been enough. Not anymore. Especially not after learning about Moriarty being in Sherlock's head like that.]

No.

Alone doesn't protect you here. You want me to mind Mycroft after he suggested murdering an innocent man just to put you back in a body that looks a bit like your old one? You will need to be there, as well.

[howdull]

[Alone hasn't protected him for so many years now, and still those words are being thrown in his face. He half wants to punch John for being so obtuse when he needs him to be his usual agreeable self, and half wants to just acquiece because he doesn't want to not be with his friends and family.

That's just how it has to be. The events of the past... week? several months? several years?... have left a deep scar on him, much as the loss of Mary did. He's trying to protect them as his last act, make them stick together, and it's infuriating that none of them are cooperating.]

Damn it, John.

[It's a mumble, halfhearted, before he simply hangs up.]