jumpthegun | IC Inbox (v1.0)

I think I'm having a heart attack.

[ Rhys sound strained, to say the least. Like he's having trouble breathing. Like he's horrifically, hideously stress. Wonder why that might be. ]

[Yeah, about that, Rhys? John will treat it as a medical emergency, though. It's after his conversation with Fiona that he steps away to actually reply.]

Rhys, calm down. Try to take slow, deep breaths. Count to five as you breathe in, then five again as you breathe out. Find somewhere to sit down and breathe.

I've done a bunch of that and it -- isn't -- helping!!

[ Shouting again, no. No. Not good. Rhys winces at his owned raised, cracked voice. ]

Already sitting.

[John's voice remains calm and soothing.]

Is Angel with you in the house? If she is, she should come and sit with you, ground you. I want you to both breathe together, she can do it with you. And then I want you to raise your arms above your head, hold them there for ten seconds, bring them down for ten, and repeat.

You're having a panic attack, Rhys. You can get through this. It's only fifteen minutes at most. It will pass, and you're going to get through this.

She did most of that, and it felt better for like... I don't know, a little while. Bu - b-b --

[ He does a few deep breaths anyway. Doctor's orders. There's about a five minute gap before he responds again. ]

I'm not dead.

No, you're not dead, and you're not going to die from this. Just keep breathing. Why don't you tell me about what started this?

[He heard the shouting match and all, but give him your side of the story, Rhys.]

Dr. John, I kn... know you know. You gotta know.

I know what I heard from two people who care about each other getting into a screaming match. So why don't you tell me why it happened that way from your side, if you're up to it?

[ Rhys spends the next stretch of silence twisting at his sleeve. ]

I lost my goddamn mind.

[At least he realizes it. That's highly encouraging, as far as John's concerned.]

Yeah. It sounded like it. I think the technical definition of what just happened is you fucked up massively, mate. But that doesn't mean the world ends.

Was Jack doing something to you? I mean more than the cult problem. Is he still mucking about in your head?

Language.

[ ...he's pretty sure that's bile creeping back up into his throat. ]

Ignore -- ignore that. Please. He -- Jack can do a lot of... mucking... without doing any physical muckage. He's just... that kind of guy.

[John raises a brow.]

Yeah. Guessed as much. [He sighs.] I can't say everything's all right or it's going to be all right with this, Rhys.] I'm sorry, but after what you said... Fiona has every right to walk away and not look back. I don't think she actually wants to, but she's upset right now, more upset than I've ever seen her.

She cares about you a lot, and that's why it hurt her so much what you said.

I don't think... trying to operate on you here is the best option, either, though. The Admin told me she'd be taking care of Jack when I contacted her. I can see if she can shut him down fully, but that might not be possible. I dunno. It sounds like she's severely restricted his capabilities, but he's still in your head and tormenting you. I'm going to check with her to make sure he's going to remain restricted, at least from physically interfering with you.

She doesn't have to -- this isn't me saying 'bug her for me.' This isn't. I'll miss her.

[ He thought he was all cried out. He thought wrong. Since when was he so shmoopy over Fiona?? Since... quite awhile ago, actually. ]

Knowing that won't make her feel better. There'll always be that 'what if'.

There will be that, yes. But there are things you can do to try to fix this in some small ways, y'know? Don't bother her for a while, just focus on finding a way out of here, getting you both home and her back to Sasha. Deeds speak louder than words, and you helping her accomplish that goal, even if you aren't friends for the moment, is going to mean something.

I dunno her well enough to know if she's the type of woman to give second chances, but just do what you can to be worth that second chance, all right? I know you're trying, but picking fights with people like Estinien? Maybe avoid that. I know he's a completely racist arse, but just shutting him out might be the best way to shut him down.

Second chances? That's - th-that's cute.

[ Rhys rubs at his face, eye burning terribly. Panic is completely exhausting. ]

But Estibiwibby has nothing to do with this.

Third chances?

[He doesn't know your life, Rhys.]

And it's not that Estinien has something to do with it. It's how you were acting with him that does. Rhys, I don't want you to get hurt any worse than you have been hurt already. Lying to some warrior bloke and threatening him with robot retribution... it's not just you you're painting a target on, it's everyone else who's a robot or has robotic components on their bodies.

People like Luna if he ever catches wind of that.

I wasn't trying to pick on -- paint a target on me, or anyone else. It was all just joking, really. Joking slash -- tr-trying to prove a point?

[ Fear is seeping back into Rhys' voice. ]

If he goes after Luna it's my fault??

[ Not even defensive, just genuinely questioning, as if it hadn't really occurred to him. ]

That's not a way to prove your point. And if he goes after Luna it's his fault. But you aren't exactly helping. He's an ignorant, racist git. Egging him on isn't going to calm him down about it.

Nothing will, but I couldn't just ignore him.

[ He squeezes his tiny screambot protectively, big dumb Ghibli tears pouring down half his face. ]

I know it's hard, Rhys. Just try to leave it to someone who can have a level head through it, okay? We won't let him hurt any of the robots here.

... ...okay, okay, if. If you promise. I wasnt really planning on going after him or anything.

[ Sniffle. Shuffle. Then some highly uncomfortable silence as the shuffling gets louder. A tinny shriek, and ]

... Dumpy's stuck to my face.

I promise to do my best, Rhys.

[And then John has to work very hard not to laugh.]

Mm... That's, uh. That's rough, mate. Can you cry a little more? Get him unstuck?

IC Inbox (v1.0)

@dickcheese, voice; day 148 post implosion

@jwatson; audio

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