IC Inbox (v1.0)

[jumpthegun]

You've reached Dr. John Watson. Please leave a message.

Comments

[jumpthegun]

Yeah. Everything is a Catch-22 here. Only way to win is getting to the center. God knows when that'll happen.

[Or if it will happen with as short a time as they have left.]

[mrcreamsicles]

let alone what well find there
or why it is we have to get there
like sure thats the win condition but then what
especially if there really is some eldritch motherfucker lurking under the town

[jumpthegun]

Best thing we can do for the moment is cross that particular bridge when we get there.

[mrcreamsicles]

yeah probably
not like options are thick on the ground anyway
good luck to us with not dying

[jumpthegun]

I've got faith in us, and aren't you American? You people are meant to be optimists, aren't you?

[mrcreamsicles]

americans are meant to kick ass and shout about eagles and tattoo flags on our faces
but the entire universe is dead where im from so its a moot point

[jumpthegun]

[Jesus, Davesprite...]

We'll try to make sure this one stays alive, then. By kicking arse, shouting about eagles, and tattooing flags places they shouldn't be.

[mrcreamsicles]

[Hey, it's true. It's also old news to him.]

do you seriously spell it arse
sounds like a kind of cramp a pirate would get

[jumpthegun]

I also spell colour with a 'u' like it's meant to be.

[And we're going to pretend that his American mun spells things the British way all the time.]

And try not to be cute. Doesn't suit a cool guy like you.

[mrcreamsicles]

ill be whatever i want to be
thats the american dream watson
dont shit on my heritage

[jumpthegun]

You're a bunch of upstarts who toss perfectly good tea into harbors. I'll do as I please.

[mrcreamsicles]

thats because yall dont know how to party
too stiff upper lip to let loose
too busy licking the queens boots to let your hair down
all work and no play makes john a dull boy
and yet in all that time you cant update your spelling to something sensible
im shaking my damn head here watson
you keep this up and im gonna schedule an intervention
your friends worry dude

[jumpthegun]

You don't update what's right, mate. And since we came up with the language, I'm pretty sure we've got the market cornered on how to do it right.

You've also obviously never been to a proper do in London. We know how to have a good time. It's not all fancy dress and cocktails with waiters in white gloves.

[mrcreamsicles]

a proper do
watson
are you reading your own words i cant take this seriously
i give up on you
youre a terminal case doctor im sorry
also fuck off you dont have the market cornered
youre the stuffy old grandparent waving a cane at the new generation who knows how to do slang better
things werent like this back in my day
back then we walked fifteen miles uphill through the tea fields just to reach a dictionary and we liked it that way
you whippersnappers with your internuts and your goggles dont understand hard work
thats nice grandpa now sit down before you put your hip out of joint

[jumpthegun]

You think you've got the chuffing market cornered for Matheson Lang, have you? I'm a London rob, born and raised. Reckon I could spin circles 'round you if that's where you wanna scapa.

voice;

[mrcreamsicles]

[Putting on the thickest Texan accent he can:]

All y'all limeys wouldn't know your way round a bowl of cornmeal grits if your mama was right there learnin' it into your pate. Y'think you can throw down at the rodeo, but you'd be hollerin' and hogtied 'fore pa's got the tractor started. Y'all'd've been best mindin' your own beeswax, son. Not a one of you city slickers got the good sense god gave an acorn. Think you grab the bull by the horns, but you're too damn big for your britches, ain't that right?

[jumpthegun]

[John puts on his best impression of a Texan accent, and it's terrible.]

This where Ah say yer all hat and no cattle?

[mrcreamsicles]

[He tries to keep it in, he really does, but a series of terrible, snickering giggles slip out anyway. That impression truly is awful.]

You ever do that again and I'm going to report you to England.

[jumpthegun]

No, no! Shh... shh! Is this turning into blackmail? That's not right, mate.

[mrcreamsicles]

Is it working?

[jumpthegun]

Well, I won't do it again, if that's what you're asking. Doctor's honor.

[mrcreamsicles]

I'll hold you to it.