jumpthegun | IC Inbox (v1.0)

Alfie thinks everyone who puts themselves out there for strangers without demanding something in return has a self-sacrificial streak. [There's some mild irritation in John's tone when he says that. It had been one of their earliest arguments, Alfie not really giving a damn about anyone when he'd first arrived.] God love the man, but he's kind of a dick, if you haven't noticed. Don't take him getting upset personally. It just means he's worried and doesn't have the power to control you or whatever else around to keep you safe.

You could just say you're hoping to find someone to travel with for mutual protection on the network. See who that pings and then talk to them privately about the Stein situation.

How would that not be personal? I don't exactly mind that he's worried about me. I just wish he was more helpful with it. It's easy to tell me I'm doing things wrong, but not really give me a concrete solution.

[She pauses a second, tilting her head.] Do you think he wants to control me?

I feel like it's too late. I realize it would be the smarter option, but I think Kid is already extremely on edge, and I don't want to add to his stress. He's asked me for help, and made it very clear that he didn't want me to ask for support.

I think Alfie is used to having a lot of control in his life, and he doesn't have that control here. It's frustrating and frightening for him, even if he wouldn't admit to it. There are only a few people he really cares a lot about, and if you've become one of them, then yeah, he's going to want to have control to the extent that he thinks he can protect you from danger and yourself. He knows full well he's not your boss, though, so he winds up snapping.

I don't think he's used to not having a solution to something like this. If he were back home, he could order a few of his men to go with you for protection. Now he's having to do the calculus on whether to abandon you or abandon three people he cares about. That's not an enjoyable math problem, and I reckon he doesn't have a concrete solution other than 'don't go if Stein is with him,' which he knows you might ignore anyway.

Stein's hurt Fiona, Beckett, and Rhys before. Alfie saw some of the aftermath of that. Stein's hurt me, as well, and now Kid. I really... I didn't think he'd ever hurt Kid. But he's proved himself a danger again. He's manic and out of control.

The good news is that if Kid's asked you not to go anywhere else for support, it's very unlikely that Stein's with him.

Edited 2016-12-05 17:20 (UTC)

[There's something about the explanation - even if Claire could guess some of it for herself - that is reassuring. That it's not her the problem, that it's not that Alfie doesn't believe her competent enough. It's him.

She swallows around a lump in her throat, instinctively wanting to stand and cross the room, hug Alfie close. But there are other things - the fact that her mind is still made up, and that she's got her funny eyes and he's got his funny eyes and they don't really look at each other right now. There are a lot of things, that make Claire think it might be best if she's not around, anyway. Alfie needs time to recover, to find his bond with his friends back. She's only a hindrance.]

He wants me to know what Stein's done, like it would change anything. I'm already wary of him - extremely so, even more now that I know the number of people he's hurt. But I still don't think that knowing what he's done will help. From what you're saying, he and Kid were close and he's hurt him. That's enough for me. That tells me that he would stop at nothing.

[She sniffles, unable to control it.]

You know - this is very educational. I'll - talk to Alfie.

Alfie probably thinks it might give you more of an advantage in a fight if you know the types of things Stein does. He knocked me out and drugged me after calling me to somewhere private. When he lobotomized Rhys, he got him alone. You want to make sure you have someone with you if you're dealing with him and never let him get you alone. He tends to isolate people and then conduct surgeries on them.

[John hears that sniffle.]

And just... like I said, please don't take it personally if he's a git again. There's something else that's probably playing into all this. Happened just before you arrived around the same time. Fiona was someone he cared about a lot. The Joker murdered her when she was alone. No one wants a repeat of that.

Edited 2016-12-05 18:39 (UTC)

[The words give Claire pause, and she brings a hand up to her mouth, fighting a sudden rush of nausea. The thought that Rhys was lobotomized makes Claire dizzy with how sick it makes her feel. Despite her best effort, Claire feels the tears burn her eyes, and one slips out. She brushes it off mutely, angrily.]

I see.

[And now...that piece of info. Claire bites on the inside of her cheek, eyes flicking up to Alfie again.]

As I told him, I'll be careful. [Her voice is a little empty now, hollow. She's trying to get a hold of herself, but it's no easy task.] I'm not - mad at him. At least he cares. I feel like many people have become blasé about death, here. For good reason.

[For a second, her mind flashes back to her kidnapping, to Matt, mowing down a whole branch of the mob to get to her. Her eyes burn up again, missing him fiercely for a moment. He would keep her safe. He would care.]

Claire... [He hadn't meant to make her cry or even really upset her. In his own way, though, John's trying to do what Alfie had: prepare this woman for the fact that she might be facing down a psychopath and seek alternatives or protections where she can.]

I think a lot more people pretend than actually are blasé about it. Everyone copes in their own ways, yeah? You're a very kind and compassionate woman. I know it's hard, but just remember that when it seems like people here are acting like idiots--not just Alfie. All the rest of us, too. I'd offer you a hug if I could, sounds like you need it, but go and get one from Alfie, if you can. I'm sure he'll like it, whatever the reason.

I'm fine, John. [She's not, not really, but there's nothing to be done about. She will be fine, really. She just needs to process the information.]

Thank you for the offer.[She gives a tiny chuckle, sounding more broken than she'd like.] I'll see what I can do. But anyway, I promise I'll be careful. I'm not taking unnecessary risks, and I don't plan on doing any self-sacrificing.

I'll hold you to that, Nurse Temple. [Broken. Too many people here are broken. He needs to help get them out. And then... well, and then. They'll cross the bridge for what to do with a way out when there is one.]

And please, if it's just Kid... tell him I'm sorry again about what happened, would you?

[Claire bites at her nail for a second, wondering if she should ask.]

Are you...responsible, in any way? What happened? If you don't mind telling me.

I wasn't able to stop it. [That's responsible enough. John's tone flattens after that. If Claire is familiar with trauma victims, she might recognize the sign as someone distancing themselves from their emotions to relay information.]

Stein apparently had him overdose on cough syrup and knocked Mr. Taylor out and drugged him while I was checking if we could leave through the ice tunnels. I thought they were just sleeping. After he'd finished surgery on one of my eyes, Kid burst into the bathroom. He was still half-asleep, but came to get Stein off of me. Brave young man. He did it by distracting Stein with his own eyes--they were glowing.

Forced another couple sedatives on me, and I was out after that until most of the other trouble started up. He stitched up what he'd done to me, and then I'm praying to god he knocked Kid out before doing the same surgery on him. I don't know, though. Stein didn't care when I woke up, and we haven't been able to talk about it.

Edited 2016-12-07 14:19 (UTC)

John... [The first thing that goes through her head is, you shouldn't have asked. The way his tone goes flat and emotionless as he relies the story tells her that, very plainly. But what's done is done.

Then, she closes her eyes, reminded of the bandage over Kid's face. She braces herself for the day to come, and what she could expect from it.]

So...he's uncontrollable. And unhinged.

[Even if he wanted to understand what was happening with their eyes, his techniques were just absolutely crazy.]

For the moment, yes. Stein is suffering from high-level MN Poisoning and associated mania. He's already naturally prone to mania and has very few medical ethics based on the standards of his own universe. All of that is being amplified beyond his ability to resist.

Is there anything we can do? Is he one that you are thinking of having the Admin manipulate his brain?

Blood transfusions if he'll consent to one. But that might only be temporary. And I've promised someone else I won't ask the Admin to do any brain manipulation. I may talk to Stein about asking for himself, though. Just need to give it a little distance from what happened.

[For John's own mental state.]

If you need my help in any way, John, you know where I am. In the meantime, I hope I can just keep Kid away from him, if he's not getting any better.

Yeah. I will. [And he means it more genuinely now. At least in terms of dealing with the fallout from Stein for other people, like Kid.] Take care of yourself, Claire, and keep warm.

Not an easy task, but will try.

[At least she gets another evening with Alfie to keep her warm.]

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cw: reference to eye gore

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