jumpthegun | IC Inbox (v1.0)

[That's the nail on the head, then.]

Yes, it has. Clint, honestly, if I had managed to kill anyone the other night, I'd be in your same shoes. There's still a part of me that thinks losing my eye... maybe that was a good thing. Makes me less of a threat for the next go 'round. But you have to know that's guilt talking.

We have a limited amount of time to use our limited amount of resources in, and if everyone tries to suffer nobly, it'll be a lot of pain for no good reason. You don't have to use the whole bottle. You can give it away if your symptoms let up. There are three people in your group. God knows one of you is going to need some pain meds now and again with who you are.

Think about this logically. Please.

Edited 2016-12-06 07:05 (UTC)

It's too easy to just let it go like that. I know you haven't. [ He ignores all of those logical reasons for the one that tells him he's taking something from someone else who needs it more. ]

We can't just pretend like we shouldn't feel guilt and responsibility for this. I ripped into a kid. There's no getting around that.

[He hasn't let it go, but it's do as I say, not as I do. John can lie when he needs to comfort someone.]

It might be too easy, but it's what needs to be done if we're gonna move past what's happened. And we have to move past it. I know that's hard to hear, and I know you don't think it's right. It's not fair. None of this is fair to any of the people here. That doesn't matter, Clint.

Hawkeye, you have a duty to be in the best shape you can possibly be in to protect the people here. That means looking after your own well-being. Barring that, you need to let me look after it. You're not being objective.

[ He's heard this from Tony, too. And he agrees, he does, he just - doesn't know how to get to that point. He doesn't see how he can feel like he can protect people when he did the worst possible thing he could to an innocent kid. ]

And you're trying to mom me. [ But it's not mean, just kind of listless. ] I don't want a prescription. I'm fine. You need to take care of yourself and stop trying to take care of me.

I'm trying to be your friend, Clint. And a doctor. Or a commander, if that's more palatable. If you were one of the men under my command, I would've ordered you to get medical attention. Doesn't really matter what you want. It's what you need.

I need you in good shape. You're an asset to the people here. You need to get past your self-doubt and realize that this isn't just for you, it's for me and Tony and Nat, and anyone else who likes you or relies on you.

[Again, do as I say, not as I do. He's going to ignore that comment to take care of himself.]

[ Hoo boy. Now he bristles again - because Clint doesn't like orders and when he hears them, he's a contrary brat just to be a contrary brat. This sounds an awful lot like Steve, and Clint's not having it. ]

I don't need someone trying to give me orders, no. You don't know what my pain level is at, or what I'm used to. Stop dodging around me pointing out that you need to take care of yourself, it's getting old.

Not that anybody can rely on you to do that. The second you go anywhere by yourself you end up half dead because for some reason, everybody else is more important than you are.

[John can feel himself bristling, in turn, but he's not going to engage Clint on that level.]

What's getting old is you trying to bring this back around to an issue about me so it'll get the focus off of you, Clint. Every time that I've gotten hurt, I've taken appropriate medication steps. If you're trying to compare our situations, you're doing a piss poor job of it, mate.

[ See, he know John's tricks, and apparently, John knows his, so that's annoying. Clint makes a frustrated noise. ]

Someone's gotta do it. Turn this back on you. You're as determined as I am not to let anybody worry about you.

Yeah. And I take appropriate steps to make sure they don't need to. Like taking a few fucking pain pills to get Nat off both of our arses.

[Let's try the Alfie approach, then.]

[ There's a long pause, where Clint just doesn't answer. He's angry, but almost too tired to be angry properly. ]

Yeah, because going to help people on the 'Will Murder You' list is always a great idea to ensure people aren't going to worry. [ Clint mutters. ] I don't know what you're not getting about someone might need them more than me, John.

[ He's stuck on this. It's going to take him a while to get unstuck. ]

[The Alfie approach seems to have taken some of the bratty wind out of Clint's sails, so that's something.]

Kid was with Stein, and I've traveled with Stein safely on more than one occasion, including when my hands were useless and he could have taken me down in an instant. And Bucky was and is my friend. I didn't have any reason to believe they'd harm me. They aren't the Joker.

[Look at all the logical explanations he has, Clint. LOOK AT THEM. Where's your logic?]

What you're not getting is that it doesn't matter what other people need right now. I'm concerned with what you need. Yes, it's a finite resource, but it's not one we're so hard up for that I'd be choosing to prescribe to you instead of someone like Kesara. You're also not getting that I told you, you don't have to use it. [He knows Nat will make Clint use it, but that's to one side.] It's a resource for you to hold onto if you run into someone else you think might need some. If you think your friends might need some. You're turning down a resource for pure stubbornness and guilt over what's happened.

[ UGH NO NOT LOGIC

He knows he's lost, here, and he'd normally be pissed. Clint hates having to be told what to do, for as much as he gets himself into situations where a little outside help might do him some good. Normally, he'd be furious, he'd hang up or slam some doors or - something, but here, where he's in pain both physically and emotionally, he can't muster it up. ]

Fine. Do it, then.

[ That's all. He doesn't have an argument. John wins. ]

[VICTORY! Somehow, it feels hollow. John isn't going to stretch this out.]

You should find a bottle of prescription-grade ibuprofen tomorrow. Good evening, Clint. Please try to get some rest.

Yeah, alright. You too. [ And then he hangs up, because that's precisely what he's going to do - nap for the rest of the day. ]

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