jumpthegun | IC Inbox (v1.0)

You did leave something out, Doctor. He offered to cooperate. He said you could lock him in a room. He did not get violent with you. He did not try to run away until you ignored his attempts at a peaceful resolution.

Or are you gonna tell me he was lying?

No. That's what happened. Which is why I'd do things differently. He'd murdered someone a few days earlier. Ecks had just attacked him. I'll be honest: I just didn't trust him, and I wanted him as contained as humanly possible to keep anything else from happening.

I made the wrong decision. I escalated the situation, and Ecks took advantage. This was my fault, and I'm aware of it, Mr. Solomons. It's as simple as that. I don't make the same mistake twice.

Say you had tied him up, right. What would you have done the next day, after lockdown? Say a monster breaks in, and his hands and ankles are bound.

[Alfie. He's already said he made a bad decision. What are you harping for?]

If I had ended up tying him up, I would have let someone know I had him, and where I was. If a monster broke in, I would do everything in my power to defend him, up to an including letting it take me, instead. Whomever I told where we were wouldn't hear from me, they'd come looking for us, and they'd find him.

But that's not likely to happen, Mr. Solomons. As I said, I made a mistake trying to restrain him with bindings in the first place when there were other options.

And if it had happened, that would have been a stupid fucking plan. And I do not feel convinced, right, that you would handle something like this better in the future. Different, maybe - yeah. Different. But not better.

Defend him and let yourself get taken. Fucking hell. No.

[He's trying to remain calm and level because Alfie has every right to be upset with him. It's becoming increasingly frustrating, though.]

You asked me for a hypothetical of what I would have done at the time, Mr. Solomons. I know it wasn't a good plan or much of a plan at all, in hindsight. I'm not sure what you want to hear from me. All I can say is I'm sorry. I know it won't mean much to him or to you, but I am, and I'm not going to do things the same next time. I can't tell you exactly what I'm going to do next time, either, if it comes about.

I'm still working through that because there's nothing in this bloody place that gives me any real structure to work with. [There might be some frustration creeping into his tone now.] I'm making everything up as I go along. That's really not my strong suit.

[It had been Sherlock's strong suit. Even with the madness in Afghanistan, John had always had a plan to at least start from. Here, there's nothing. Perhaps Alfie could appreciate the need for something structured, something handed down by a commander or a higher power if John could articulate it for him. He isn't about the tell a gang leader he wants someone to boss him around most of the time and give him more direction, though.]

Edited 2016-07-25 13:57 (UTC)

[It's true that it's not the answer that Alfie wants. Being able to have a concrete plan for how to handle future scenarios, and being able to not making everything up as you go along - that's all extremely important, in his mind. Allow for flexibility and recognize that unexpected things can always happen, yes, but always start with a solid base.

But that's where the difference between him and Watson lies, he realizes. He's used to creating that solid base for himself. Watson is used to having it already exist in place.]

I'm not gonna forgive you. I won't absolve you.

[Just getting that out of the way first.]

There are some very fucking basic things you can do here, going forward. Things you do not need to make up as you go along. A structure for yourself, yeah?

I didn't expect you to.

[Because, really. Even if Alfie had forgiven him, even if Royce would, John's harder on himself than most people, especially where lives are concerned. He can take one and not feel guilty, but those are under very specific circumstances. These were nothing like those circumstances.]

And what would you suggest?

[These are suggestions. They're not orders he's following. There's a part of him that jumps up at the prospect of having something he can do to sort things out, though. He just really wishes it wasn't coming from Alfie Solomons. Maybe he should ask Tony...]

Edited 2016-07-25 15:37 (UTC)

My suggestions. Right.

I suggest that if you're told to leave a situation alone, you listen. I suggest that if you decide not to follow this suggestion, you stop pretending you aren't trying to police the city, because that is exactly what you fucking did here.

[Well, he's not going to just leave a situation alone. But he doesn't want to be the police, either. He's comfortable being an intermediary. Someone who helps the police, works under their auspices, but isn't actually in charge of what to do with the criminals after they're captured. The catching is the part that he's good at... most of the time.

He wishes Sherlock were here.]

I can't just leave something alone, Mr. Solomons. [Get that out of the way.] If that means I have to choose to play police in your eyes, then I guess that's where we are.

[He doesn't sound happy about that at all. In fact, he sounds entirely reluctant. John isn't going to argue about definitions with the other man at the moment, though.]

Do not fucking make this about how I see it.

[Alfie's response is biting, and definitely the most angry that Watson has ever heard him.]

You can leave something alone. You are not incapable. And if you choose not to, you do not get to hide behind being a civilian. Do what you fucking like, but do not insult my intelligence like this. I don't care if it's not purposeful, if it's denial, if you have some issue that comes with being thought of as the police. If you cannot fucking deal with it, then do not fucking do it.

I would never hide behind that. [He's not precisely sure what he wants to be labeled - Doctor? Consulting detective? Ex-military? He's typically defined himself by what he's doing, and in his mind, he's not quite police, but he's certainly not a civilian.] If you think I've been trying to use that as some sort of shield, then we've been having a serious miscommunication, Mr. Solomons. I don't expect you to treat me like a civilian. [He'd be insulted if Alfie did, really.]

You haven't been, so I didn't think that was at issue. What is, is a label. You think of me as something specific. I don't. That's all I meant by that. Treat me however you like based on that label, if it's the one you're going to give to me.

You do use it as a shield. How many times have you insisted to me that you're just a regular bloke? How many times have you told me you're not here to enforce any sort of law?

I've insisted because you keep telling me I'm acting like a policeman when I'm not. This time? Yeah. Other times? No. I know what I've done in my life and a hell of a lot of it's been outside the law.

[He probably shouldn't have said that.]

As part of my job. [Okay, just going to walk that back a bit.] That's why I say I'm not a policeman. I've helped them most of time. Sometimes I've not been on the same side as them. And I wasn't doing that anymore before I arrived here.

And I told you I'm regular relative to all the other people I used to be involved with. I still didn't expect you to treat me like a civilian. I knew we'd rub each other up the wrong way because of the way we do things. I knew we'd come into conflict. And I knew you might put a blade against my neck again.

[This is going nowhere. Or, really, it's going in the same circle they always go when they're arguing about this. John forces his tone back to something neutral.]

I don't want to fight with you, Mr. Solomons. You want me to leave you and Duster alone. I will as best as I can.

I want you to be fucking honest with me, and with yourself. So you've done some things outside the law. Yeah? So have I. And our sorts of illegal are very different beasts. So you're gonna do your very best to enforce a law that allows for your sort of illegal, but not for mine.

[Why are they continuing this? John doesn't even know. He'd expected Alfie to just slap his apology away and be done with it. But here they are, still coming back to this. And a part of him just wants to agree because... honestly, Alfie's not really wrong. He realizes he's been quiet on an open line longer than he should be.]

Yeah. Fine. Yes. That's what I want to do.

The only reasons I can think of where murder or excessive violence are acceptable are defense of others or defense of yourself from some physical harm. Those are the only things I'd accept. Anything else, I'd want someone to face some sort of consequences for what they'd done. Doesn't matter if the other person came back.

If I broke my own rules there, I'd expect to be punished for it. Somehow. I'd turn myself in on it to someone who would punish me on it, as well.

Yeah, you would, if you broke your own rules. But I wonder how you'd react if you broke somebody else's rules, and they punished you for it. Somebody whose rules allowed for their sort of illegal, but not for yours.

[He lets that hang in the air for a minute, and then moves on. He's interested in what Watson's response to it will be, but he wants him to think about it for a little while first.]

Yeah. Two more things before I let you go.

Gwen. I do not want you to talk or ask about her to Duster. I do not want you to talk or ask about her to anybody else. Understood?

[He knows Alfie is making a point about himself and Royce. He's not really sure what he would do with someone who was opposed to something as basic as no killing except when your own life and well-being or those you're protecting are on the line. But for the sake of it, he does try to imagine what his reaction might be.]

I'd try to reason with them and help them understand why I did what I did because it was necessary. Depending on what they had for a punishment, I might let them carry it out - something like staying with them so they could watch me for a while wouldn't be a problem. If it was completely disproportionate and they wouldn't listen... I'd try to get away from them.

[John isn't sure that's what Alfie wants to hear, but it's honest. As for Gwen, he's indescribably curious now, but he can keep that to himself.]

And understood, sir. [He corrects quickly.] Solomons.

Mm, yeah.

[His voice is still firm, but it's calmer now.]

So what you're telling me, right, is that you would do exactly what Duster did.

[He holds his tongue on whether or not it was proportionate, really. Duster had freaked out about being tied up as far as John's concerned. Given that Ecks had murdered him while restrained, it had, apparently, been a legitimate fear. If Ecks hadn't been there, it would have been silly, though. But that's not what happened.]

Yes, Mr. Solomons, that's what I'm telling you.

Hm.

[He hopes you think about that a lot, Watson.]

Me and Fiona are gonna try to meet up again, while I'm in the same area as the two of you. I will not hurt her to punish you. Never.

[Hurting someone to get to someone else isn't something Alfie is always above doing, and he figures that Watson could guess that. He isn't sure if it's a worry of Watson's, exactly, but he'd be surprised if he hadn't at least considered the possibility.]

[He'll think about it... and consider that there are vastly different moral structures going on here. It's easy to get sucked in, in the moment. But John knows perfectly well that what Duster did to House wasn't right. Even if he'd made a mistake in handling it, the fact that he'd tried to handle it isn't wrong. But that's for thinking about later when he isn't being sucked into the guilt and beaten down into some form of agreement.]

All right. I didn't expect you would.

[That thought had never actually crossed his mind. With the way Alfie is, he knows the man has limits. Women and children seems to be one of them.]

Are you going to do something else to punish me?

[Clarification would imply to him a plan for something else.]

We'll see.

[The answer is actually no, for a couple reasons. He likes being on Fiona's good side, and hurting Watson too badly would surely ruin that. He also really doesn't consider this his fight. He's upset and angry on Royce's behalf, but Royce hasn't asked him to intervene in any way. When it comes to actually doing something, he's more invested in debating Watson's mindset than he is in punishing any specific transgression.

But he'll let Watson be on edge for a little while, sure.]

['Resigned' might be a better term for it. He sounds tired when he replies.]

Is that all, Mr. Solomons?

Yeah. That's all.

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jumpthegun - 2016-07-25 20:26 (UTC) - Expand