IC Inbox (v1.0)

[jumpthegun]

You've reached Dr. John Watson. Please leave a message.

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[jumpthegun]

Someone said they found some kind of romance novel a while back in one of the houses.

[John sounds deeply unimpressed by this.]

[devoutish]

Yeah. Yeah, we've found those, too.

[jumpthegun]

I think someone mentioned it seems like Eve's doing a lot of fanfiction of us. I'm starting to think they might be right.

[devoutish]

"Fanfiction".

[He doesn't know the term.]

[jumpthegun]

It's like, if you like the characters in a story, you write about them in different scenarios or maybe in scenes that you think would have been good in the story, but the original author didn't write. You can do it with real people, as well, but it's considered creepy.

Sherlock and I had some of that when I was doing my blog. Internet celebrity, it's bound to happen. Sometimes it's flattering, but a lot of it turns into pornography.

[devoutish]

[What the fuck.]

Yeah, it's fucking creepy. Did you get 'em to stop?

[jumpthegun]

Sort of. They left off when Sherlock faked his death. And after I stopped updating the blog when Mary... y'know?

[devoutish]

Did they know about her?

[jumpthegun]

Her obituary was in the papers. [Scrubbed of all real detail for national security reasons. Thank you, Mycroft Holmes.] I didn't post about it or anything.

[devoutish]

Do people read papers, in the future?

[jumpthegun]

I read them. It's where we used to get some of our cases when other work was thin.

[devoutish]

Yeah, well - you're not the typical man, John.

[jumpthegun]

I'm not sure if I should take that as an insult. Other people read the paper, Alfie. They'd be out of business, otherwise.

[devoutish]

It is what it is.

Are papers as they were in my time, or have you done away with print?

[jumpthegun]

[True enough.]

A lot of them have done away with print or they do print and online. I like reading the real paper in the morning, though. Take a shower, sit down with a cuppa.

[Or he used to like doing it. He hadn't been paying much attention to anything back home outside of what was strictly necessary to appear functional to his colleagues at the surgery.]

[devoutish]

Mm, yeah. I miss baths. Proper baths - we haven't got your showerheads in houses.

[jumpthegun]

Well, if you're ever in the tunnels again, Building 208 on House's map has a tub and unlimited hot water. It's not exactly a proper bath, but it's about as close as you'll get to it here.

[devoutish]

Mm-- unlimited, really? That sounds like a proper enough bath to me.

[jumpthegun]

Needs more candles and essential oils, or at least some bath salts to be a proper bath.

[The sound of Sherlock playing his violin in the background, he doesn't add because that's just nostalgia talking.]

[devoutish]

Women's stuff. Hot water - that's all a man needs.

[jumpthegun]

Then call me a woman. I like it.

[devoutish]

What oils do you use?

[jumpthegun]

A mix, usually. Lavender, Frankincense, and Bergamot--it's a sort of citrus-y thing--they're good together for stress.

[devoutish]

Lavender.

[The most womanly scent, clearly.]

[jumpthegun]

[Now he's starting to feel embarrassed and defensive. Thanks for that, Alfie.]

You realize scents don't have a gender, right? And it's not like I come out smelling like a bouquet.