[Berit's ears flatten and her tail lashes as she follows Sherlock out of the room. The only reason she's not telling John what she already knows, that this is to test both of them, is because she believes that being forewarned will help her perform better than her current rival.
Sherlock gets out the blood pressure kit, a stethoscope, a stop watch, and a packet of fresh needles.]
[John hops up to sit on the nearest clear surface to where Sherlock has set up without much thinking about it and presents his arm without any fuss. His focus is on Berit. Look at him doing this without a fuss. He's the far superior assistant, thank you.]
People are gonna ask if you're a vampire one day, the amount of blood you ask for, y'know?
Boring, they should be asking if I'm a cannibal, considering the organs as well.
[He draws the blood quickly and expertly; he might not be a doctor, but he does know some things. He looks down at the cat, who presses herself under one of the nearby cabinets.]
Berit, don't be a coward, we've never been afraid of needles.
[There's some satisfaction watching the Heart cower. John just lounges back on one hand in his new spot, watching her, the challenge to her clear in the little smirk that continues to play about his lips and the aggressive tilt of his ears.]
You don't know how to cook; no one would ever suspect you of being a cannibal.
[John just snorts at that, not believing Sherlock for a moment.]
Sure.
[It's an easy enough task and John reports a healthy human blood pressure and pulse for Sherlock's records. This is a bit less suspicious than he was expecting, really. Nothing is too off for the moment. They'll see once the toys come out, though.]
[Berit mewls pitifully while she gets examined, and Sherlock looks discomforted when he finally puts her down and brings out the first toy - a laser pointer.]
Now, I want you both to stand in the middle of the room and behave as comes naturally.
[He flicks on the laser pointer and a little red dot appears on the opposite wall, jerking and swishing about like a tiny red insect. Berit remains still, but her tail lashes wildly.]
[This is nonsense, as far as he's concerned. Except when it isn't.
John finds himself tensing, eyes following the laser pointer. It's just a laser pointer. It's nothing a human would bother with, other than to roll their eyes. The tip of John's tail flicks back and forth.
It's perhaps half a minute of fighting with the instincts before the cat wins out. The doctor lunges for the frustratingly enticing dot of light. He'll try to cover it with his hand. If and when Sherlock moves it, John will follow after, chasing the light and making a very solid attempt at catching it. There's a small, human voice in the back of his head yelling that this is ridiculous and he needs to stop. Now. It's drowned out for the time being.]
[Sherlock marks down a result of thirty seven seconds before the cat instincts won out over the human one, and then a result of fifty nine seconds for Berit when she finally joins in the game to hunt the laser pointer.
He should turn it off now that he has that data, but this is far too amusing and he has time for the other experiments, so he starts to direct the little red dot to on top of furniture or up the curtains to see just how dexterous John can become with these instincts fuelling him.]
[John's balance is markedly improved thanks to his tail, but he's still a human in his late-thirties. It takes him about as long to mount the furniture as it might otherwise. There's no hesitation in the actions, though. His focus is singular for several minutes until he winds up pulling the curtains down on top of himself and Berit in a bid to get the light.
His tail fluffs up, and he darts away from that to hide. It's as he's crouching near a cabinet, panting lightly, that he realizes exactly what he's doing. When he does, there's embarrassment followed by anger. John stands, planting his hands on the counter and glaring at his friend.]
[Sherlock is outright laughing by the time Berit gets tangled up under some fallen curtains and John returns to his right mind by the cabinet. He doesn't reply for a moment, just setting down the laser pointer and making notes on the duration of the cat behaviour, the nature of it, and what seemed to be the trigger to returning to a human state of mind.
Only then does he turn back to John, still grinning widely.]
Seems a shame to stop now that we've started, don't you think? We might as well do it all now, or I'll simply get the results myself when you're not expecting it.
[Surely letting Sherlock experiment for an hour or so is a lesser evil than having to distrust everything handed to him for the next few days?]
[That does give John pause. He really doesn't want to indulge Sherlock; it's the principle of the thing! But dealing with his curiosity is going to be beastly. Why did he want to make up with this man?
John's tail lashes again, a sure sign that he's given in.]
You're cleaning up any of the mess from these experiments.
[Like that curtain. The doctor turns back around and stalks over to the other man, crossing his arms and staring at him silently, waiting.]
He beams right up until Berit finally manages to get out from under the curtains and leaps at him, digging her claws as deeply as she can into his calf, then the smile becomes a sudden yelp.]
You needn't think I'll be gentle taking blood this time. John, take your blood pressure and pulse again, you know the drill by now.
[He grabs his stupid Heart and goes about extracting blood and monitoring the other two variables.]
[John smirks as Berit attacks Sherlock. Serves him right.
His blood pressure and pulse are elevated, but that's, perhaps, understandable after he's been running around. He suspects Sherlock being himself is partly responsible for the elevated readings, as well.
The mention of catnip has the doctor frowning.]
That stuff doesn't always work on every cat, you know?
[John's desperately hoping it will have no effect on him, whatsoever.]
[Berit's readings are the same, mostly because she's a part of Sherlock and her blood pressure and pulse readings are tied to him rather than herself. She doesn't look happy as she's put back down and the bag of catnip appears.]
I'm aware of that, but no result will still be a valid one to catalogue. Now, I believe it's your choice if you eat it or simply inhale the scent.
[He hands a bag to John and scatters the other on the ground near Berit.]
[John takes the bag and holds it at arm's length for a moment, wary of finding himself affected by the damn thing. Sherlock probably won't let it go, though. He'll just take a quick sniff and then Sherlock can count it as an experiment completed.
A quick sniff swiftly becomes something much longer as John's slitted pupils expand. He dips his nose into the bag and then upturns the entire thing on the floor without much thinking about the consequences of that. It's only a moment before he's knelt in the middle of it spreading it out along the ground and putting is nose down to it.]
[Unfortunately for John's pride, Berit is one of the cats that isn't at all affected by the catnip. She gives it one sniff and then sits down, watching John with her tail slowly swaying from side to side.
Sherlock marks down the approximate amount of catnip needed for the initial reaction, and then immediately gets his phone out to start recording this. Perhaps that isn't the most scientific thing to be doing, but... come on, his flatmate is kneeling down amidst catnip.]
[Kneeling becomes rolling in it, getting it all over his clothes and face. When Sherlock calls his name, John shifts onto his back and looks over at his friend silently. He sees the phone and is aware in a vague way that he's being filmed. That doesn't register as much of a problem in this moment.]
Yeah.
[He raises a hand and makes a swipe at some dust motes he can see.]
Can you describe to me exactly what you're feeling?
[He has a rather impish urge to get the laser pointer out again and see what happens, but instead he reaches into one of his cupboards and gets out a cardboard box. It's only about three feet by three feet, big but not huge. He wants to see if this will have any additional fun effects.]
[No sooner is the box out than John sits up to stare at it, tail flicking. He licks some of the catnip off of his hand and then takes another roll in it before pushing himself up to a crouch. It only takes John a few moments to mentally calculate the distance, and then he's springing toward the box. He lands partway in and sends it skittering as he gets the rest of the way in and settles so that he can stare up at Sherlock and blink slowly.]
Is this what cocaine feels like? S'good. Like... a buzz, but I'm not tired.
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It's just a needle. Don't be a kitten about it, love.
[He steps out of his room and around the other man to lead the way down to the lab.]
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Sherlock gets out the blood pressure kit, a stethoscope, a stop watch, and a packet of fresh needles.]
Arm please, John.
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People are gonna ask if you're a vampire one day, the amount of blood you ask for, y'know?
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[He draws the blood quickly and expertly; he might not be a doctor, but he does know some things. He looks down at the cat, who presses herself under one of the nearby cabinets.]
Berit, don't be a coward, we've never been afraid of needles.
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You don't know how to cook; no one would ever suspect you of being a cannibal.
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[No, he can't, but how hard can it be? It's just chemistry with other ingredients, easy.
He bends down and reaches to grab Berit and pull her out, she hisses unhappily, but she lets him draw blood this time.]
Good. John, if you could take your own blood pressure and pulse, while I do Berit?
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Sure.
[It's an easy enough task and John reports a healthy human blood pressure and pulse for Sherlock's records. This is a bit less suspicious than he was expecting, really. Nothing is too off for the moment. They'll see once the toys come out, though.]
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Now, I want you both to stand in the middle of the room and behave as comes naturally.
[He flicks on the laser pointer and a little red dot appears on the opposite wall, jerking and swishing about like a tiny red insect. Berit remains still, but her tail lashes wildly.]
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[This is nonsense, as far as he's concerned. Except when it isn't.
John finds himself tensing, eyes following the laser pointer. It's just a laser pointer. It's nothing a human would bother with, other than to roll their eyes. The tip of John's tail flicks back and forth.
It's perhaps half a minute of fighting with the instincts before the cat wins out. The doctor lunges for the frustratingly enticing dot of light. He'll try to cover it with his hand. If and when Sherlock moves it, John will follow after, chasing the light and making a very solid attempt at catching it. There's a small, human voice in the back of his head yelling that this is ridiculous and he needs to stop. Now. It's drowned out for the time being.]
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He should turn it off now that he has that data, but this is far too amusing and he has time for the other experiments, so he starts to direct the little red dot to on top of furniture or up the curtains to see just how dexterous John can become with these instincts fuelling him.]
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His tail fluffs up, and he darts away from that to hide. It's as he's crouching near a cabinet, panting lightly, that he realizes exactly what he's doing. When he does, there's embarrassment followed by anger. John stands, planting his hands on the counter and glaring at his friend.]
Sherlock...
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Only then does he turn back to John, still grinning widely.]
An excellent first experiment, shall we move on?
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[As galling as that is to admit. His ears are lying flat along his head and the tip of his tail continues to twitch.]
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[Utterly unrepentant.]
I'm surprised that you even believed that at all.
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[John moves to head for the door.]
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[Surely letting Sherlock experiment for an hour or so is a lesser evil than having to distrust everything handed to him for the next few days?]
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John's tail lashes again, a sure sign that he's given in.]
You're cleaning up any of the mess from these experiments.
[Like that curtain. The doctor turns back around and stalks over to the other man, crossing his arms and staring at him silently, waiting.]
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He beams right up until Berit finally manages to get out from under the curtains and leaps at him, digging her claws as deeply as she can into his calf, then the smile becomes a sudden yelp.]
You needn't think I'll be gentle taking blood this time. John, take your blood pressure and pulse again, you know the drill by now.
[He grabs his stupid Heart and goes about extracting blood and monitoring the other two variables.]
Next, we're going to try catnip.
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His blood pressure and pulse are elevated, but that's, perhaps, understandable after he's been running around. He suspects Sherlock being himself is partly responsible for the elevated readings, as well.
The mention of catnip has the doctor frowning.]
That stuff doesn't always work on every cat, you know?
[John's desperately hoping it will have no effect on him, whatsoever.]
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I'm aware of that, but no result will still be a valid one to catalogue. Now, I believe it's your choice if you eat it or simply inhale the scent.
[He hands a bag to John and scatters the other on the ground near Berit.]
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[John takes the bag and holds it at arm's length for a moment, wary of finding himself affected by the damn thing. Sherlock probably won't let it go, though. He'll just take a quick sniff and then Sherlock can count it as an experiment completed.
A quick sniff swiftly becomes something much longer as John's slitted pupils expand. He dips his nose into the bag and then upturns the entire thing on the floor without much thinking about the consequences of that. It's only a moment before he's knelt in the middle of it spreading it out along the ground and putting is nose down to it.]
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Sherlock marks down the approximate amount of catnip needed for the initial reaction, and then immediately gets his phone out to start recording this. Perhaps that isn't the most scientific thing to be doing, but... come on, his flatmate is kneeling down amidst catnip.]
John? John, can you speak to me?
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Yeah.
[He raises a hand and makes a swipe at some dust motes he can see.]
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[He has a rather impish urge to get the laser pointer out again and see what happens, but instead he reaches into one of his cupboards and gets out a cardboard box. It's only about three feet by three feet, big but not huge. He wants to see if this will have any additional fun effects.]
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[No sooner is the box out than John sits up to stare at it, tail flicking. He licks some of the catnip off of his hand and then takes another roll in it before pushing himself up to a crouch. It only takes John a few moments to mentally calculate the distance, and then he's springing toward the box. He lands partway in and sends it skittering as he gets the rest of the way in and settles so that he can stare up at Sherlock and blink slowly.]
Is this what cocaine feels like? S'good. Like... a buzz, but I'm not tired.
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About an Hour and a Half Later
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we can call this a wrap or keep going if Sherlock and Berit would follow
a wrap is good for me