John Watson (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
jumpthegun) wrote2016-04-04 09:15 pm
jumpthegun) wrote2016-04-04 09:15 pm
IC Inbox (v1.0)
You've reached Dr. John Watson. Please leave a message.
You've reached Dr. John Watson. Please leave a message.
You did, though. You said it could be you or Ginger or J next time, and it's next time, except it was only you. It doesn't work. Doesn't track. You did a bad job of it. Everyone was sick, one way or another, and you knew it, and you used it.
I don't know what you're talking about.
[He really doesn't remember a conversation where he said he would murder someone. Or Ginger. When was this?
'Look back at the conversation about America,' Sholto prompts, and John does so.
Oh. That's what he means.]
I didn't use this for anything.
[He really doesn't remember a conversation where he said he would murder someone. Or Ginger. When was this?
'Look back at the conversation about America,' Sholto prompts, and John does so.
Oh. That's what he means.]
I didn't use this for anything.
Edited 2017-08-30 17:33 (UTC)
[He desperately wants to believe that this was an involuntary incident on John's part, but then...who's to say it won't happen to Magenta, or Ginger again, or the Joker? He can handle human decisions to kill. He is nothing if not a prolonged human decision to kill.]
Sure you didn't. Three people were on that obit. and you say you didn't use the one night EVERYONE was out of it.
Sure you didn't. Three people were on that obit. and you say you didn't use the one night EVERYONE was out of it.
['You aren't going to win him over with logic, Watson.'
John knows the Major is right. He also doesn't particularly want to defend himself.]
If that's the kind of man you think I am, Magenta, I don't know what to tell you.
John knows the Major is right. He also doesn't particularly want to defend himself.]
If that's the kind of man you think I am, Magenta, I don't know what to tell you.
i dont know whats wrong with you
[And that's all he can really think so say. Not as a judgement, but a genuine expression of confusion, because he just doesn't know.]
Anyways. I won't hurt you if you don't try and pull any more fuckery, but I can't blame Peter either. You know how it is. I hope.
[He reflexively adds a "stay safe" before realizing that he doesn't want that at all.]
[And that's all he can really think so say. Not as a judgement, but a genuine expression of confusion, because he just doesn't know.]
Anyways. I won't hurt you if you don't try and pull any more fuckery, but I can't blame Peter either. You know how it is. I hope.
[He reflexively adds a "stay safe" before realizing that he doesn't want that at all.]
[There are so very many things wrong with him, Magenta, and only part of it is Norfinbury. If he could sink himself into a bottle of whiskey right now, he would. Multiple bottles of it until he doesn't care that he can't actually express anything he's feeling. If he could even just hurt himself, that would be something. It wouldn't be the punishment he feels he deserves for what happened, but it would be a start. He'll just have to rely on Peter for that.]
My death price is making it difficult to talk right now, and I need to go. Sorry.
But I understand. Bye, Magenta. Please stay safe, wherever you are.
My death price is making it difficult to talk right now, and I need to go. Sorry.
But I understand. Bye, Magenta. Please stay safe, wherever you are.
[It's incredibly tempting to just ignore Sylar. John's made it a mission not to like this man--this murderer--but he doesn't exactly have the moral high ground to stand on at the moment. And if he's honest, hearing anything supportive is both nice and viscerally repulsive to his sense of self at the moment.]
I've let a few people know. I woke up about an hour ago. I'd appreciate it if you don't share it around.
[He's not going to address the issues of fault and luck. John doesn't know how to.]
I've let a few people know. I woke up about an hour ago. I'd appreciate it if you don't share it around.
[He's not going to address the issues of fault and luck. John doesn't know how to.]
I'm fine getting around. I've just don't seem to be able to emote. It shouldn't be a problem.
[He's screaming inside his head and feels like he's locked in while being simultaneously half out of his body. But, no. It shouldn't affect his actual mobility.]
Are you still with Alphonse? How's he doing? I spoke with him like you asked.
[He's screaming inside his head and feels like he's locked in while being simultaneously half out of his body. But, no. It shouldn't affect his actual mobility.]
Are you still with Alphonse? How's he doing? I spoke with him like you asked.
[ Considering what John just revived from, that sounds horrible. But it wasn't going to impede his travel, at least. ]
Hope it's gone soon.
Yeah, I'm with Alphonse. He's slowly but surely getting better. I think he'll be okay, eventually. I'm trying to give him some time. Don't think he had a chance to process everything back in his world and it all piled too high here.
Thank you for talking to him. It helped.
Hope it's gone soon.
Yeah, I'm with Alphonse. He's slowly but surely getting better. I think he'll be okay, eventually. I'm trying to give him some time. Don't think he had a chance to process everything back in his world and it all piled too high here.
Thank you for talking to him. It helped.
I'm sure it will be.
It's good to hear Alphonse is improving, though. He hung up on me when we were speaking. Wasn't sure if I pressed too hard.
[Although, now that he thinks about it, he should probably go and listen to his own words on that. Later. Maybe in a few days.]
I know he probably wants to do something to help out. What are you two up to?
It's good to hear Alphonse is improving, though. He hung up on me when we were speaking. Wasn't sure if I pressed too hard.
[Although, now that he thinks about it, he should probably go and listen to his own words on that. Later. Maybe in a few days.]
I know he probably wants to do something to help out. What are you two up to?
He needed someone to press hard. He said his brother would've punched him for thinking about giving up, so it's good he had tough love from somebody.
That would probably help. Wasn't sure when I should bring it up. We're in the new residential area, but we haven't gotten too far yet. Thought we could all use a couple days where we weren't right on the edge of death.
That would probably help. Wasn't sure when I should bring it up. We're in the new residential area, but we haven't gotten too far yet. Thought we could all use a couple days where we weren't right on the edge of death.
That's fair. I'm not sure how many of those we're going to get this time. Be careful in the new area. No maps mean you're more likely to get locked out.
[It takes Luna some time her first day back to muscle through the mix of emotions she's been left with in regards to Watson. What happened didn't change that she still cared for the an, that she was still horribly concerned for him. But she couldn't lie to herself. Seeing him like that had been frightening enough... but seeing both his and Quark's name on the obituary scared her even more. Her efforts hadn't been enough. Someone else had to kill him before he could stop.
So she stays back for the first day, lets herself cry and think and decide whether or not the man would even respond. It's late the next day, before lockdown, that she finally extends her hand.]
John?
It's Luna.
Do you want to talk?
So she stays back for the first day, lets herself cry and think and decide whether or not the man would even respond. It's late the next day, before lockdown, that she finally extends her hand.]
John?
It's Luna.
Do you want to talk?
[No. He doesn't.]
I'm glad you're alive, Luna. I'm sorry for what happened.
[But he will.]
You don't need to talk to me.
I'm glad you're alive, Luna. I'm sorry for what happened.
[But he will.]
You don't need to talk to me.
I know I don't need to. I just... wanted to.
[But maybe he doesn't? She wasn't expecting a glorious welcome, but his response still falls frigid and sharp, making her flinch.]
I just wanted to make sure you were okay. That maybe you might be more yourself again.
[But maybe he doesn't? She wasn't expecting a glorious welcome, but his response still falls frigid and sharp, making her flinch.]
I just wanted to make sure you were okay. That maybe you might be more yourself again.
[No forgiveness.
'Not something to expect or hope for,' Sholto advises.]
I'm alive. I can control my body again.
What's your death loss? Do you need help?
'Not something to expect or hope for,' Sholto advises.]
I'm alive. I can control my body again.
What's your death loss? Do you need help?
[Cold, clinical, and incredibly obvious. He's not even going out of his way to make his avoidance subtle. Was it something she said?]
No, I'm fine. I'm just having a little trouble with recognition.
I'm glad you're in control again, John, but that isn't quite what I meant.
I'm sorry if this is out of line, but... could you tell me what happened?
No, I'm fine. I'm just having a little trouble with recognition.
I'm glad you're in control again, John, but that isn't quite what I meant.
I'm sorry if this is out of line, but... could you tell me what happened?
[That's a problem if she runs into anyone dangerous.
Like him.]
It's not out of line. I don't honestly know. We were all getting sick in the morning, and I stopped caring much about anything. It got worse as the day went on, but my radiation sickness cleared up. I knew something was off. I had Ecks handcuff me in the loo. I thought it would be enough.
My body started moving, but I wasn't thinking. I was just watching. I didn't feel anything. I broke my hand to get it out of the cuffs and went downstairs. When I saw Quark I tried to kill him. I don't know why. It was like seeing a ball flying toward your face and putting up a hand to catch it. It was a reflex. He was there, so I killed him. And then you were there, so I killed you.
I didn't think about it. I felt when you were hurting me, but my body didn't react. I just felt like I was watching myself. And nothing mattered.
Like him.]
It's not out of line. I don't honestly know. We were all getting sick in the morning, and I stopped caring much about anything. It got worse as the day went on, but my radiation sickness cleared up. I knew something was off. I had Ecks handcuff me in the loo. I thought it would be enough.
My body started moving, but I wasn't thinking. I was just watching. I didn't feel anything. I broke my hand to get it out of the cuffs and went downstairs. When I saw Quark I tried to kill him. I don't know why. It was like seeing a ball flying toward your face and putting up a hand to catch it. It was a reflex. He was there, so I killed him. And then you were there, so I killed you.
I didn't think about it. I felt when you were hurting me, but my body didn't react. I just felt like I was watching myself. And nothing mattered.
[She stays quiet for a few long moments, if only to let his words sink in. There's a cautious relief in hearing how unnatural it all was - that it wasn't him. It couldn't have been him.
...]
Thank you for telling me.
I remember seeing your hand. How you were reacting to everything, how you wouldn't respond... it never seemed like it was you. It felt like you'd become some sort of machine instead.
I know you would never hurt either of us on your own intentions. Not without a purpose. If you say you had no purpose other than to act, then I believe you.
Please know that I forgive you, John.
...]
Thank you for telling me.
I remember seeing your hand. How you were reacting to everything, how you wouldn't respond... it never seemed like it was you. It felt like you'd become some sort of machine instead.
I know you would never hurt either of us on your own intentions. Not without a purpose. If you say you had no purpose other than to act, then I believe you.
Please know that I forgive you, John.
Why do you have to be so kind and understanding? I don't deserve it. Quark is going to have nightmares about me. You're probably going to have nightmares about me. What I did isn't forgivable, Luna. You're my friend and he was my patient, just a little boy. None of this is right. It's not okay. I don't want you to pretend like it is.
[He wishes he could cry, wishes he could shout, do anything except type words placidly into the tablet.]
[He wishes he could cry, wishes he could shout, do anything except type words placidly into the tablet.]
I don't want to pretend it was okay, John. It wasn't. To say otherwise is foolish.
But you are not the one I blame for it.
But you are not the one I blame for it.
['And you wouldn't have blamed her if she'd done it to you.'
Even just a small gesture, like rubbing a hand over his face is lost to him. It's a long to before John responds as he's internally screaming at himself to show any emotion at all, to react. This conversation doesn't seem real. None of his conversations have seemed real.]
I'll still avoid you, if you want me to, especially right now. I have my emotions back, but I can't express them. I'm sorry if this all seems very cold.
Even just a small gesture, like rubbing a hand over his face is lost to him. It's a long to before John responds as he's internally screaming at himself to show any emotion at all, to react. This conversation doesn't seem real. None of his conversations have seemed real.]
I'll still avoid you, if you want me to, especially right now. I have my emotions back, but I can't express them. I'm sorry if this all seems very cold.
[She doesn't answer his first offer, if only because she can't bring herself to choose. He isn't incorrect, after all. The thought of him being closeby doesn't fill her with anything but a quiet sense of dread.
She hates it.
So, for the moment, she drops the request entirely.]
It does seem a little out of character for you, yes. But you don't need to apologize.
I saw your name on the obituary. Was this your penalty?
She hates it.
So, for the moment, she drops the request entirely.]
It does seem a little out of character for you, yes. But you don't need to apologize.
I saw your name on the obituary. Was this your penalty?
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