IC Inbox (v1.0)

[jumpthegun]

You've reached Dr. John Watson. Please leave a message.

Comments

[awwnoun]

Lemme know if you figure out who it is? I'm curious.

[ As for the rest: ] I'll be fine. [ He doesn't want John to try and take on Clint's pain too, so. ] Bucky ended up putting me down, so as long as he doesn't feel guilty about it that's fine.

[jumpthegun]

Right.

[And there's a pause.]

I think we both know Bucky's gonna feel guilty about killing anyone who was out of their minds, Clint.

[awwnoun]

... I know. [ He practically shrinks, not that John can see it. ] But I killed Natasha, so - maybe he'll feel less.

[jumpthegun]

[Yeah, they both know that's not the case. John's not going to call Clint out on the wishful thinking now. They need what hope they can take.]

I'm sorry, Clint. That's hell. How is she holding up?

[awwnoun]

She's acting okay, but she's good at compartmentalizing.

She forgave me. That's all I can ask for, I think.

[jumpthegun]

[The problem is when the compartments get dumped out by something. Then it's just a mess to deal with the clean-up.]

Yeah. I'd just like to understand the why of it. It doesn't make sense.

[awwnoun]

I guess we must just be reliving what happened. That's all I can get out of it, and out of what I've seen everybody talking about.

Not a particularly fun vacation we're on here, is it.

[jumpthegun]

Mm... I dunno if it's that. Even if it is making us relive things, you'd think there'd be a point to that. Either someone or something hit the wrong wires and that's important because what were they trying to do? Or they did it on purpose. And what does that mean?

[awwnoun]

I don't know. [ He has a headache, and he kind of just groans. ] I'm not brainy enough to figure this stuff out. I just want them to stop making us --

It'd just be nice to stop having to be tortured.

[jumpthegun]

[John isn't, either, but he's used to asking questions and looking to his best friend to help sort out the answers.]

It would, yeah. Sherlock is going to help us sort this out, Clint. I promise. He's... he's a little rattled right now, but he'll be back on his game soon enough.

[awwnoun]

I don't blame him for taking a day or two, John. [ Sigh. ]

Just - hey, question though, while I've got you on the line. You talked to Natasha about getting me a prescription, right?

[jumpthegun]

The work helps him, at least. Shouldn't be long. [It's a trait they share--throw yourself into the case and let other problems fade away.]

I was talking to her, but she never confirmed for me that I had your permission to prescribe. If you'd like to give it I can write you a 'script now and you'll have the meds by tomorrow.

[awwnoun]

No, that's the thing. I wanted to make sure she didn't get me one. So that's good, I'm glad she didn't.

[jumpthegun]

[The Dad tone is coming out, Clint. Are you ready for it?]

Clint. If you need medication, you need medication. Don't be a martyr.

[So says John Watson, professional martyr.]

[awwnoun]

I don't need it. And look who's talking, Mr. I Lose Limbs Every Time I Try To Help People.

[jumpthegun]

I've never lost a limb here, thanks. [He's going to get pedantic if you're going to be a brat about it.]

If Ms. Romanov's noticed the pain, then you need it. It doesn't need to be narcotics, if that's what you're worried about. I can get you prescription-grade ibuprofen.

[awwnoun]

Mr. I Lose Valuable Functioning of Body Parts Every Time I Try To Help People. [ Gonna add on a heaping pile of brat, here. ]

Natasha notices everything, including things that aren't there or things that look worse than they actually are. She's my best friend, she picks it out. [ He sniffs. ] It doesn't hurt bad enough to waste resources.

[jumpthegun]

Out of the pair of us, I'm pretty sure, I'm the one who takes medicine when that does happen.

You are not a waste of resources, Clint. I'm convinced. I'm prescribing you pain meds. You can take them or leave them, but they'll be there. [And he knows Nat will make Clint take them.]

[awwnoun]

No! [ He says it sharply. ] Don't. You're wasting - someone else is going to need you to prescribe them something, and it's going to be way worse than mine, and you're going to have used up all your prescriptions. That's what's going to happen, and - no. I won't.

You're not my doctor, you can't.

[jumpthegun]

[John raises his brows, and he pulls back from the sass and sarcasm.]

Clint, what's going on with you? We're not running low on mid- and high-grade pain medications. And even if we were, you deserve to not being in pain. You'll function better if you're not in pain. You'll be able to help us get out better if you're not in pain.

[awwnoun]

No, but we could be, and soon. We already messed up the healing thing. I read about it, there used to be a function where they'd do immediate medical attention, and now it's gone. I don't want that to happen to prescriptions - I don't want to contribute to that when other people could need it more.

[ He actually sounds upset - it's not just because of the pills. There's a lot more that hurts, it's just coming out under this guise. ] I can help just fine. It doesn't hurt that bad.

[jumpthegun]

So everyone else can contribute except for you? You know that sounds really not-good, right? [There's a pause, and John sighs.] Guess Sherlock's not the only one rattled. Clint, what happened last night wasn't your fault. You don't need to punish yourself for what happened with suffering.

[awwnoun]

No, that's not - that's not what I meant, I mean - we have a limited amount and I don't want to take from that limited amount when I don't need --

[ You don't have to punish yourself. Clint's on audio, but his lips tighten and thin, white. ] I killed people. I'm not going to argue with you about how that's not my fault. That has nothing to do with what I'm talking about.

[jumpthegun]

[That's the nail on the head, then.]

Yes, it has. Clint, honestly, if I had managed to kill anyone the other night, I'd be in your same shoes. There's still a part of me that thinks losing my eye... maybe that was a good thing. Makes me less of a threat for the next go 'round. But you have to know that's guilt talking.

We have a limited amount of time to use our limited amount of resources in, and if everyone tries to suffer nobly, it'll be a lot of pain for no good reason. You don't have to use the whole bottle. You can give it away if your symptoms let up. There are three people in your group. God knows one of you is going to need some pain meds now and again with who you are.

Think about this logically. Please.

[awwnoun]

It's too easy to just let it go like that. I know you haven't. [ He ignores all of those logical reasons for the one that tells him he's taking something from someone else who needs it more. ]

We can't just pretend like we shouldn't feel guilt and responsibility for this. I ripped into a kid. There's no getting around that.