IC Inbox (v1.0)

[jumpthegun]

You've reached Dr. John Watson. Please leave a message.

Comments

[jumpthegun]

It's a personal matter. Leave it be, Clint. You don't want to get involved.

[awwnoun]

I'm not trying to be nosy, man, I'm just trying to make sure you don't fracture into a million pieces because you think it's better to have a stiff upper lip.

[jumpthegun]

[Well, it's a little late for that.]

Why are you doing this, Clint? What do you get out of it? I'm functioning. It's good enough to help people and provide information for the moment. I'm not needed for anything else.

[awwnoun]

Did you seriously just ask me what I get out of making sure you're okay? Yeah, you got me! I get this weird kick out of trying to help my friends hurt less, isn't that screwed up?

[ So much sarcasm. ] You're needed for plenty else. Don't DS me. You're a grown-ass man, you know there are people here who care about you and not just the stuff you provide.

[jumpthegun]

[John bristles and considers just hanging up. He snaps, instead.]

I don't know what people really care about here. Who the hell even knows what's real anymore?

[He sends that an immediately regrets it. Lashing out at Clint isn't going to do any good.]

Sorry. I told you it's personal. Please just leave it alone, Clint. I'm not in a good place to talk right now.

[awwnoun]

[ There's a part of him that's warring with the other - push or leave it alone? He doesn't care if John snaps at him, he's used to being chewed out by people who are hurting.

Clint chews at his lip for a long moment. ]

You just don't have to do all this alone, is all. [ Clint says, quieter. ] I'll leave it, but you don't - I know I'm not your first choice to go to when it comes down to it but if you just need to vent at someone, that's what I'm good for.

Give yourself a break, alright? Please.

[jumpthegun]

[There's a pause long enough that it may seem John's just hung up. But Clint deserves to know. He really does.]

Sherlock faked his own death. He's been lying to me and everyone else since he got here and well before that.

[awwnoun]

[ Oh. Yeah, that's. ]

Fuck. I'm sorry. [ He kind of flounders for a second. ] What are you going to do?

[jumpthegun]

Nothing. What's there to do? I shouldn't even be angry at him. It is what it is. We still need to get everyone out of here. Sherlock will help with that.

[awwnoun]

You should be mad at him. I'd be furious. He's your best friend, you don't just fake your death like that, it - it's devastating. And when they come back it just feels cheap, like you hurt for no reason.

[jumpthegun]

He did it to save lives.

[Why is he arguing in Sherlock's favor here? Mainly to see if there are justifications that Clint can find around the point. John's still angry. Having someone else agree that it's legitimate is a little comforting.]

[awwnoun]

You don't always gotta be about the greater good. Just because he saved lives doesn't mean you can't be pissed that he lied. Your own happiness matters, man. Everybody's does.

[jumpthegun]

The great good is more important than I am.

[That's why it's called the greater good, Clint.]

[awwnoun]

No, it's just as important as you. [ He'll argue this to the death. ] What's the point of the greater good if the individuals in it are miserable?

I'm not saying he shoulda not done it to save your feelings. I'm an Avenger, I'm almost - like, contractually obligated to say that. I'm saying it's fine to be pissed about it because that's a valid thing to be pissed about.

[jumpthegun]

[Well, that's something John would tell other people, but he's supposed to do better than this, look at the whole instead of considering himself first. On the whole, what Sherlock did was right. But knowing that doesn't help the way John feels.

He wishes Fiona were here.]

He said I was angry before. Will be angry. But he doesn't think we can make it up this time.

I'm so angry with him, Clint. Every time I look at him I just want to hit him. I can't trust him. He never trusted me as much as I thought he did. It'd be easier parting ways. I don't want him around, but I don't want to him to go, either. I need him.

[Which leads to some of his current and very self-inflicted dilemma.]

[awwnoun]

Yeah. I know how that feels. [ With Natasha, with Bobbi, with a lot of people he's come across in the past. Clint sighs heavily, thinking. ] I don't really have a good thing to say when it comes to that. There's some people I never got over being angry with and there's some people I did.

I guess just don't feel like you can't be mad. You can be. That's part of getting over it, if you wanna.

[jumpthegun]

[John just sighs, frustrated. He didn't really want to talk about this in the first place and now he feels like an idiot for it.]

Sure. Thanks. Sorry you've felt this way before.

[awwnoun]

You don't have to offer a sorry back, man. Take a second to only be concerned about you. It's gonna save you a lot of pain, I think.

[jumpthegun]

There are too many other people to worry about. I have to go, Clint. Bye.

[awwnoun]

Yeah.

Be careful. Bye.