jumpthegun | WtL Mailbox

Right.

[John has no regrets about taking certain lives. But his murders have been to protect other people, mainly.]

What are you going to do?

Nothing.

[He doesn't look happy about it, though.]

Being with Monty is Renart's choice, I'll just be ready if something happens and she needs me.

[Love is difficult.]

People make bad choices sometimes. [And John doesn't like waiting around for something bad to happen.] And need to be protected from them, honestly, Bucky. Sometimes, that's the only way they can break out of a bad cycle.

So, what? You're saying we should force Renart away from Monty?

[It's a complicated situation, and trying to figure out the morally right thing to do is hurting his damn head.]

Have you heard of an intervention?

[He's not sure they had those in Bucky's day and age, but... maybe?]

No.

[He knows the word in and of itself, but not the application of it here.]

It's basically when the people who care about someone and see that person in a bad situation sit them down and have a big talk about what's wrong and what they need to do about it as a group. The person the intervention is for might resent it, they might see it as meddling, intrusive. They're not wrong, but it's also sometimes something that needs doing when they can't pull themselves out.

[That makes sense, and even if it hadn't had the specific name back then, he has vague memories of people banding together to talk to a fella that drank all his wages away. It's something he's wary of being part of, though, he's not sure where the line on respecting someone else's choices is.]

...you think we should do one of those for Renart? Stop her being with Monty?

I think it's something to consider. If you really think she's in danger with this man, that's something that should be got out. Especially if other people think it, too, for different reasons.

I'll consider it, but I want to give her a chance to make her choices first. Maybe Monty will prove me wrong.

[Which would sting in a different way, but would be better for Renart in the long run.]

Maybe. Don't leave it too long. If you see something, say something, that sort of thing. I'll back you up whatever you decide, mate. Honestly, I'd still rather see that bastard tarred and feathered for what he did to you.

[He's about to shrug it off again, to push down what Monty did to him, but that's what led to all the trouble in the first place. He promised Renart to talk more, he meant to make the same promise to John, so he needs to start doing it.]

Me too.

[It's short and quiet.]

But I care about Renart more than I want revenge.

[He sighs. That's what it's ultimately going to come down to.]

Some days, I really wish you'd fallen in love with Meulin instead of her.

I don't even know Meulin, what's so special about her?

'[He doesn't think he's even met her, though he remembers her being mentioned as someone who might take the kittens when he was there for the sleepover.]

She's... nice. And a hell of a lot less complicated. And she likes cats... Never mind. The point is, she wasn't a cagey woman already in a relationship when we got here.

[He scrubs his nose in mild discomfort, it sounds much worse when John puts it like that.]

I never meant to fall for someone in a relationship, that's not what I do, I'm not that kind of guy.

[He might not remember everything, but that he does remember.]

I know you're not. I know it just happened. I'm not... blaming you. [John sighs.] The selection isn't exactly huge here, and if you're compatible with someone... [He shrugs.] It's hard to stay away.

You know that I'm going to, right? Stay away, I mean. Nothing is going to happen between us, it doesn't matter how we feel.

[He might have been tempted if she weren't with Monty, but even then he would have taken a lot of convincing to get past the idea that being with him was dangerous.]

Even if she splits up with Navarro?

[There's a moment of hesitation, a slight look of longing, before he shakes his head.]

Even then. I don't want her to move from one bad relationship into another.

Why d'you think you'd be a bad relationship? I know you have your moments, Buck, but you always come out of them, and you're very gentle otherwise. You're protective, you're handsome, you're kind, thoughtful. Maybe a bit brusque, but that's not all bad. You're a great listener... you'd be a catch, mate.

Careful, John, or I might think you want to ask me out sometime.

[He is smiling, though, it's nice to know his friends have such a good opinion of him.]

Maybe I'd never hurt her, but I still don't think I'd have a good relationship with anyone. I'm still trying to figure out what it means to be myself, let alone myself with someone else.

[If Bucky were a woman... maybe. Almost certainly, actually, but John's going to just roll his eyes and move past that first comment.]

Okay, that's fair. But you've kissed her, right? It's hard to stop once you've had that sometimes, but I commend your willpower, if you can.

She's kissed me a couple of times, but I've only kissed her the once.

[And it was both a mistake and a memory he'll treasure for a long time.]

Seems like it keeps happening. She says I flirt too much, she can't resist.

[Which is nonsense, does he look like a flirt? He's barely polite, let alone flirty.]

Keeps happening to me, too.

[The thought escapes as a mutter, and John tenses, glancing away.]

cw: spousal abuse

cw: spousal abuse

cw: spousal abuse

cw: spousal abuse

cw: spousal abuse

cw: spousal abuse

cw: spousal abuse

cw: spousal abuse

cw: spousal abuse

cw: spousal abuse

cw: spousal abuse

cw: spousal abuse

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