IC Inbox (v1.0)

[jumpthegun]

You've reached Dr. John Watson. Please leave a message.

Comments

[devoutish]

Mm, yeah. Yeah, I'm not worried about it.

[And he isn't, really - at least not about Royce never going back to normal.]

I'm worried about him reacting badly to this.

[jumpthegun]

Of course he's gonna react badly. We all are. It's on me as much as him, though. Tell him that.

[devoutish]

No, I'm not gonna tell him that. No.

[jumpthegun]

It's the truth, Alfie.

[devoutish]

Ah, fuck off.

[jumpthegun]

It is. I'm not beating myself up about it. It's just a fact.

[He's beating himself up about it.]

[devoutish]

You're being fucking ridiculous, and I'm not gonna argue with you about this. I do not ask you to be my savior.

[jumpthegun]

I don't want to be your savior. [There's a feral growl edging into John's voice. He's still a monster, too.] I want to be your friend. Friends protect each other.

[devoutish]

And if they can't possibly, then they shut up about it.

[jumpthegun]

[There's a stony silence on John's end for about half a minute. He wants to say he should have been able to. It's an argument that's going nowhere, though.]

Tell him you love him and it's fine, then.

[There. An alternative that might simply shock Royce out of any misery.]

[devoutish]

Mm.

[Look, he does love his bro, okay.]

But I want you to remember this, John. You understand? The sort of friendship you're talking about is not the sort I need from you.

[jumpthegun]

Don't talk down to me, Alfie.

[There's a definite growl this time.]

You're miserable and scared and have lost far too much already. You need something like this, even if you don't want it.

[Everyone does. Everyone. Except John. He'd prefer people stop doing that for him.]

[devoutish]

I'm not talking down to you, and if you're not going to be fucking civil, you can fuck off.

[jumpthegun]

[That comment sets off a fresh bout of snarling, but with how injured John is, he can't really do much apart from chomp down on the nearby floorboards to relieve some of his aggression. He wants to hurt Alfie now. He wants to hurt the other man and protect him at the same time.

There's the sound of cracking wood for several seconds, then panting.]

Sorry. Might be better to talk when I'm not like this.

[devoutish]

Fine. Yeah.

[Alfie's quiet for a moment, but doesn't hang up quiet yet.]

Later, then.

Day 222

[jumpthegun]

Later.

[John gives the command to disconnect.

It's not until the next day that he contacts Alfie again. He's in the bath, waiting for Sherlock and Mary to return. Amber's apparently decided to go it alone.]

Alfie, is Royce back to normal? Is he hurt?

[John's injuries seem to have disappeared with his anomaly form, but he wants to double-check.]

[devoutish]

He's all right. Yeah. He went back to normal this morning.

[Thank god.]

[jumpthegun]

That's me, as well. [He sighs in relief.] The fear's gone, too. I mean, the fear that wasn't... mine? [John's not sure how to put it, but hopes Alfie will understand.]

[devoutish]

Mm, yeah.

[He understands.]

You're traveling with how many people? That's a lot to feel, innit.

[jumpthegun]

Three others. Amber's decided she's off on her own for something. Not sure what. Mary and Sherlock are heading to where I'm holed up, bringing my... things.

[Clothes and things. Clothes are things, and that sounds much less terrible.]

[devoutish]

You went off on your own, then. Or did you die?

[He could have died and come back before the obituaries have gone up - or, maybe, the obituaries have gone up. Alfie hasn't checked in a while.]

[jumpthegun]

I was a great bloody dog who wanted to rip people apart for their light and their eyes. Of course I went off on my own. Couldn't carry anything, but I found a tablet in the house last night.

[Hence why he'd been able to answer Alfie's call.]

[devoutish]

How many lights did you collect?

[jumpthegun]

[There's a part of him that wants to dissociate what he did as the hound from who he is, but John's aware that's probably an unhealthy coping mechanism... not that wracking himself with guilt is much better. It has the benefit of not making him feel like a complete ass who won't take responsibility for his actions, though.]

Two. Amber and Alphonse.

[devoutish]

[Because he's sure that Watson is beating himself up about this, and because Watson knows that Alfie's was also taken, he says:]

Right. Well, I'm feeling normal myself. Nothing missing.